20th of oct......

today is the first day of skul day in this week....
wake up in the morning....
feeling tat today should be a gud day.....
everything start all over again.....
reached skul at 7.30am...
went in my class....
there are so so little number of ppl....
mayb becoz of im juz too early reached .....
but mayb i think is becoz of monday....
a lazy day for everybody....
for going to skul in the morning....
...
...
put all my concentration for the very first class...
it is Genaral Mathematics for the subject.....
looking at the replacement time for next week....
feeling some kind of lazy feeling...
dun wan to go for the replacement....
miss khoo.....
started the class....
teaching us for the last parts of matrices....
finished matrices...
finished chapter 1.....
it is so so difficult....
i feel that i wanna die alr....
cannot breath at all.....
so so stressful....
....
...
finished the class....
going to computer lab.....
print some notes....
coming out again....
saw Calvin is chatting with Clain....
i started feel so lonely....
waiting him for breakfast....
going to canteen together....
asking for food....
he said he dun have the mood of eating anymore....
i asked y...
he told me that to look around...
oh....
i saw alr.....
we have our breakfast then left the canteen....
....
....
go to the class...
sitting down....
looking around....
coursemates are busying with tutorials...
....
....
suddenly Calvin come to me....
he said sorry.....
is "sorry" again.......
again n again....
i hate it.....!
....
....
he apologized for going to sit behind....
im juz pretending....
saying bye bye to him....
actually.....
im feeling so sad....
lonely again....
after the lecturer gave us to leave....
i rushed out.....
without saying anything....
passed by the toilet....
went in.....
went out....
saw Calvin....
looking at me.....
i juz smile....
and let him go......
....
....
calling my dear....
he is eating brunch.....
i straight away go in my last class....
finished it.....
call my dear again.....
asking whether he wanna see me....
but he asked me to go to his apartment.....
i dun wan it....
then i juz rejected for everything alr....
in my thinking...
if he dun have the willing to come out....
wat for....
i force him to come out??
it is meaningless....
went to my room .....
take my laptop....
straight away come to McD....
on the way....
im feeling so sad....
y couples wont think as same as each other...?
y .....? y......?
....
....
im feeling so so down nw.....
so lonely.....
but i dunno how to tell him....
i juz know...
im purposely call him....
tellng him that i had finished my skul....
hinting him tat i wanna see him.....
but he dunno..................
sad.......
......
....
..
.
now the sky is dark.....
now only the god know my feeling .....