18th of oct....

today is Saturday...
waking by 6am....
in the morning...
taking bath..
taking laptop....
preparing for going out to shop....
thinking of yesterday....
wat had happened....
at tat night....
i thik is a serious thing....
my brother....
this time...
really making everybody angry....
he went bek home at 1pm....
but he told my mum tat he went bek at 4pm....
actually he is with his gf.....
is he brought her to his room....
our house....
as he said he is studying with her...
....
...
my mum asking him....
a lot of questions....
until he cries....
...
then everybody started arguing.......
im so scared....
really really scared...
i feel wanna cry alr.....
i sms my darling....
asking abt children ....
he oso surprise tat....
....
but i really really dun wan it to happen....
i love children too....
juz whenever i think of sth tat was happen on my brother...
im scared....
if..
if my brother is my son....
i dunno wat i will feel....
i think not only disappointed....
i oso dun know others....
....
....
i came from a violent home...
n i know every punishment of my home too....
becoz i tasted it....
if this kind of evident happen on my son....
i really really dunno how to solve it.....
becoz i dunno my husband...
abt wat he will do bsed on this....
i keep on asking him....
until he is so so confusing...
but honestly i m oso dun wan to ask so much....
....
....
saw my mom....
wearing a white shirt n a dark green pants....
i know...
she is not happy at all....
becoz i know her...
very very well...
whenever she is not happy..
her clothes always ugly.....
....
....
pretending nth happen....
followed her go to shop...
....
i know she is really angry...
when see my brother...
im trying my best....
makes her happy....
buying sth for her to eat...
helps her in business....
buy vegetables, chicken, rempah n corns....
only for making her happy....
..
asking for her...
i wannaeat sth like chicken...
wanna her cook for me...
n she promised....
cutting some honeymelons...
separate it into 8 pieces....
we ate it....
i tried to share my skul happiness with her...
n she laughted....
finally....
...
buy lunch for her....
eat lunch together with her...
even though im busying with printing my notes....
after 2 hours....
i steam some corns...
8 corns....
at first she asked me y i bought 8....
becoz there are only 6 ppl to share...
i said im counting me n her by 2 corns....
she smiles....
then i tried to say sth for my brother...
sh juz keep quiet...
even though i dunno whether is right or not...
i juz wanna solve problems....
n he is my only junior brother too....
...
went bek to home....
saw my grandma cooking again....
she never like this be4...
becoz always my mum who cook for the dinner....
i go to ask my mum...
actually is...
my grandma so so happy....
becoz of neighbours....
telling her tat she have a gud grandaughter....
by taking a lot of water...
watering the vege for her....
while she is in singapore....
n the wayto the place of planting vege there...
is far far away....
she cook juz for me....
im so so happy...
even though i had hurt my hand into painful....
juz becoz of taking those water.....
but....
i think is worth it!
after everything is done ....
im started....
missing my bed....
hugging the boaster....
ahx.....
(enjoying....)
then i called my darling....
n felt into sweet dreams.............