19th of nov.....

wake up at 2am in the morning....
i know....
is the time to wake up.....
n study for mass communication....
but....
im so sad....
yesterday only i realized....
today have the small test....
now....
i know....
how forgetful m i....
T.T......
actually....
i should blog.....
yesterday...
but i didnt....
when i opened my blog...
there were a lot of things....
came to my mind.....
makes me wanna run aways from them.....
until now....
everything still in my mind...
keep on disturbing my studies....
i know....
nobody can effort...
tat verything i take for the whole day....
dissapointed...
sad....
angry...
tired....
my head wanna burst alr....!

some ppl ask me y...
im looking so sad...
n i....
juz speechless like tat....

becoz i really dunno wat to say....
wat to do...

i feel dissappointed....
becoz i saw Calvin's Maths marks....
is 3/40....

thinking bek...
i had promised him to teach him...
so tat he dont hv to repeat or resit...
but looks like he is the one who dun wan to improve...
yesterday...
he was absent for the math's class....
i feel like wanna giv him a slap....
to wake him up...
or scold him....
as i like....
in order to ask him to put more effort...
but at last...
i didnt.....
T.T......

i feel angry becoz i saw WJ tat group...
keep on talking abt me...
with bad words.....
bad descriptions....
im thinking....
is me really bad as he said...?
is it my fault tat i speaks so loud?
i know i can choose to sit far away from them....
but.....
i couldnt find a seat....
is it my fault to sit near them so tat i can hear wat they said?
if i can choose...
i wont....!

go to the assignments side....
looking at it....
trying to do my best for the group....
tat i had sacrified my slp time...
to finish some of them....
at nite of the day before yesterday...
but wat i got finally??
i got their comments...
not consider comments...
they juz put the responsibility of PR....
on me....
this PR...
is the most difficult to do...
T.T....
thinking bek this assignments group...
i really really dunno wat to say....
ask them to open msn on time...
sure got ppl didnt open....
ask them to do work...
sure got ppl didnt do.....
ask them to find aplace to discuss....
not didnt come then is late to there....
so dissapointed!

im tired of clases too...
8-5....
n surrounded with all this matters...
i can still remember....
yesterday i went bek home....
in rain....
with wet clothes....
wet shoes....
sitting down....
bf call....
pick it up....
n juz hear.....
i told him tat i wanna do sth...
n he keep on asking me...
i know....
maybe is too late or me to study....
i should had study last week.....
n i didnt tell him.....
but....
i oso cant concentrate to do it....
all the matters....
in my mind....
n i thinking bek....
i alr sit lonely....
few weeks alr.....
T.T.....

wat is my feeling...
in tat moment...?
i m oso dunno how to express....

the guy used to call me...
calling me....
i got mad on him...
after i cut off his phone....
i feel he is really really disturbing...
n doesnt care abt my feeling at all...!
but at least...
he realise im so so quiet....

bf calls again....
i know i had made him unhappy as well too.....
becoz he dont know the reasons....
y i chg so much in a day...
i oso dunno...
i dun wan it....
T.T...........

juz nw in web page deign lecture....
thinking wanna go to cinema with him....
but i oso didnt open my mouth....
haizzzz.......
maybe becoz of im thinking...
of other things.....
tat's y.....