29th of March....

so so long time...
never pen my blog....
who cares...
nobody will cares on it anymore....
tats y....
now im in lonely....
my brain...
is blank....
my heart...
is died......
my feeling...
wanna die...
becoz of dissapointments....
i have lot lot of them....
since the last time i blog....
frenship....
finished.......
relationship...
finished....
family......
finished.....
educations.....
finished.....

frenship finished is becoz as usual....
they still rejecting me....
but somehow...
i should be happy...
becoz i have my freedom....
but....
my feeling is so so sad....
even i have the freedom....

relationship finished....
is becoz im a single again....
i dun have any hope to guys....
i dun have any confidents on guys....
i lost my brave to guys.....
yesterday i had decided to wear bek the ring....
but somehow....
thinking of....
haizzzz....zzzz....
i should gv bek the ring....
n tel everything....
or i should say i wanna go bek his side....
but no.....
i hope i can say it.......

family finished.....
is becoz....
yesterday i only realised...
i hate my father...
i hate the way he treated me n my mum....
i hate the way he used be in his few months....
now i feel annoyed....
of going bek my hometown....
yesterday nite....
is my first time treated him like this....
i had totally rejected him....
i hated him....
he is not a gud father oso....
even through he is the one who support our family.....
i really really hate him....
i had promised myself...
if i couldnt find a guy...
who totally belongs to me....
who totally owned by me....
who totally listen to me....
i wont married him....
i will be in a single until i old...
until i died one day.....
i hated him!
yesterday nite....
my father....
drunk....
n play with a gal...
whose husband jz died few months ago....
n she is my mum's frens!
n all this .....
happen in front of me n my mum....
he lied to mum....
my mum oso scolded his fren....
n his fren keep on denying....
n explainning....
it is too late....
he smoke again....
he chg it be4 becoz of us....
nw he chg bek....
he is totally changed....
i dun have such father!!

my educations finished....
i cant concentrate on them....
with such surroundings....
im going to kampar 3 weeks more....
14 subjects...
i jz knw...
i had to pass all of them.....
then only i can graduate from foundation.....
........
......
....
..

jz nw my mum told me....
they cant send me to kampar....
now....
i really really should admit...
im really in lonely.....
sad....
dissapointed.....
rejected......
conditions......
im totally finished..........
T.T.........
wanna off alr.....
teardrop cant be control by me alr.............